I doubt one man’s junk email is treasure to anyone else

Trail Times editor discusses the bombardment of junk mail in our inboxes.

I checked my “real” mail box at home today and found only a couple of flyers and a bill. It remains mostly junk mail but gone are the days that half my recycling was dedicated to unwanted mail.

Now, most of that unwanted mail needs only a hit on the delete button to rid myself of the endless array of self-help, dire warning, government promises or life-changing deals that filter in to my work “in box” daily.

No doubt the Trail Times is part of a huge database that has contact information for every media outlet in Canada, if not the world.  I get bombarded with so many emails from south of the border covering everything from the dire consequences of gay marriage or Obamacare to the latest happenings at a bar in Miami or what the Kardashian girls are up to.

And if you think that’s all a bunch of junk, I agree. But it gets much worse.

The Internet has allowed us to respond to any comment from anyone, anywhere in the world. And whether you’re sitting in your parent’s basement, in an airport terminal or the Prime Minister’s office, all you have to do is hit “send” and that message gets sprayed far and wide, dare I say, like manure in a farmer’s field.

Not all emails are from political parties, global companies or public relations firms.

I get regular ones from a fellow in Gander, Newfoundland, he sends them to every media outlet on his list. He always takes a strong stand supporting veterans, questioning government policies and taking to task the usual photo ops and speaking points ruling politicians use to make it look like they’re at the forefront of a national concern and helping Canadians.

There’s also a fellow in Summerland as well who usually writes at long lengths about provincial government and its misuse of funds or patronage appointments or cover-ups.

Politicians, or rather their staffers, are always quick to send out emails pointing out what’s wrong with what an opposing politician has said.

I get emails from the “Harper Government,” which I once replied to asking “isn’t it called the federal government?” I never got a reply but I certainly got more emails.

Now when I get an email from the PMO (Prime Minister’s Office) I can’t help but snicker and think of Senator Mike Duffy’s comment about “kids in short pants” down the hall referring to Harper’s handlers.

The B.C. government must have an office full of writers working 24/7 to keep up with our Premier’s acknowledgement of special events.

A quick search found our premier sending out emails celebrating the birth of Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji (the founder of the Sikh religion), Diwali (the Festival of Lights), Remembrance Day, We Day all in the last 30 days.

On Monday, the B.C. government sent me emails informing me this was “Bullying Awareness Week,” “Multiculturalism Week,” “International Education Week,”

Ironically nothing on Movember. Maybe Christy’s “kids in short pants,” can’t grow moustaches yet.

Oh well I’m sure they’ll send out emails reminding B.C. people that our Premier is on the job celebrating Christmas, Boxing Day and even Groundhog Day. I think she must has one of those calendars that lists something to celebrate every day of the year from grandparents to pets to flags.

Guaranteed the moment the federal government makes an announcement, every organization against that decision will send out emails detailing why the decision is a death knell for Canada and Canadians.

I get emails with tips on everything from winter driving to storing Halloween candy to buying Christmas presents for people you don’t like. (which begs the question “Why buy a present for someone you don’t like?”)

That said, today I got one extolling the virtues of Canada’s first chain of dog spas. “We adore our dogs and want to give them the best care,” claimed the email. That’s why dog spas are opening up across Canada. I looked at my dog laying on her own chair with a great view out the front window while I was filling her water dish and food bowl and thought “she already lives in a dog spa.”

There are emails from every person in the world who knows the secret to success. They’ll share it with me if I’m willing to drive to Vancouver, fork over a couple of hundred dollars and sit through their presentation. Or perhaps send away for their video or buy their book. I think I figured out what the secret to their success is.

I get emails warning me of everything from impending environmental disasters, a coming plague, massive unemployment, selling our water, tainted food and Y2K (I guess I should empty that junk folder).

Finally I’m still getting emails from people on the other side of the world kindly offering millions of dollars simply in exchange for my account information and other details. Unfortunately when I reply and ask them to send a $10,000 cheque up front I never hear from them again.

Too bad, with that amount of money I could hire someone to go through my emails.

Guy Bertrand is the managing editor of the Trail Times.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Interior Health reported 91 new COVID-19 cases in the region Jan. 20, 2021 and three additional deaths. (Jennifer Smith - Morning Star)
95 new COVID-19 cases in Interior Health, two deaths

Another member of Vernon’s Noric House has passed

The Coldest Night of the Year event will raise money for the local Getting to Home program. Walk virtually or in-person on Feb. 20 – there’s a place for everyone! Photo: Trail Times
Be part of Coldest Night of the Year; be part of a solution for Trail

Proceeds from the Feb. 20 fundraiser will be directed into Getting to Home

KBFR
Driver taken to hospital after hitting ditch near Genelle

Kootenay Boundary first responders attend single vehicle accident, RCMP investigate

Ron Clarke has his MBA and is owner of JBS Business Services in Trail, providing accounting and tax services.
COVID-19: How do you spell retirement?

Here’s a resolution some business owners may have made a few weeks ago, “I aspire to retire.”

Lauriente’s Clothing always made sure to have beautiful displays in the front window of their Rossland Avenue store. Photo: Trail Historical Society
Trail Blazers: Lauriente’s kept locals dressed in the finest fashion

Trail Blazers is a weekly feature in partnership with the Trail Museum and Archives

Businesses continue to struggle under COVID-19 restrictions as the pandemic reaches the one-year mark. (B.C. government)
Another 564 COVID-19 cases, mass vaccine plan coming Friday

15 more deaths, community cluster declared in Williams Lake

A specialized RCMP team is investigating a suspicious trailer, which might have connections to the illicit drug trade, found abandoned outside a Cache Creek motel. (Photo credit: <em>Journal</em> files)
Police probe U-Haul trailer linked to illicit drugs left outside Cache Creek motel

Hazardous materials found inside believed to be consistent with the production of illicit drugs

From the left: Midway RCMP Csts. Jonathan Stermscheg and Chris Hansen, Public Servant Leanne Mclaren and Cpl. Phil Peters. Pictured in the front are Mclaren’s dog, Lincoln and Peters’ dog, Angel. Photo courtesy of BC RCMP
Midway Mounties commended for bringing firewood to elderly woman

Cpl. Phil Peters said he and detachment members acted after the woman’s husband went to hospital

Premier John Horgan leaves the podium following his first press conference of the year as he comments on various questions from the media in the Press Gallery at B.C. Legislature in Victoria, B.C., on Monday, January 13, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
Interprovincial travel restrictions a no-go, Horgan says after reviewing legal options

The B.C. NDP government sought legal advice as concerns of travel continue

Gem Lake Top, at Big White Ski Resort, seen at Jan. 8. (Big White Ski Resort)
Big White cancels $7.3M in lift tickets, accommodations due to COVID-19 orders

Since November, the ski resort has been forced to make several changes

Gem Lake Top, at Big White Ski Resort, seen at Jan. 8. (Big White Ski Resort)
Big White cancels $7.3M in lift tickets, accommodations due to COVID-19 orders

Since November, the ski resort has been forced to make several changes

Darlene Curylo scratched a $3M ticket, BCLC’s largest ever scratch and win prize. (BCLC)
Kelowna woman in shock after winning BCLC’s largest-ever instant-ticket prize

Darlene Curylo couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw the amount of money she’d won from a scratch ticket

While each person has different reasons for becoming homeless, a UBCO study shows they learn through their interactions with different services to perform ‘as homeless’ based on the expectations of service providers. (Contributed)
Kelowna homeless forced to ‘perform’ for resources, says UBCO study

One participant in the study said ‘It is about looking homeless, but not too homeless’

Gov. Gen. Julie Payette takes the royal salute from the Guard of Honour as she makes her way deliver the the throne speech, Wednesday, September 23, 2020 in Ottawa. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Fred Chartrand
Gov. Gen. Julie Payette resigns, apologizes for ‘tensions’ at Rideau Hall

Payette, who is the Queen’s representative in Canada, has been the governor general since 2017

Most Read